It's Friday... NO IT'S FUCKING NOT.

Ohai there!

I am ill everyone. I have been infected by a parasite of the darkest nature. It lurks in the subconscious waiting to strike when the time is right - which is usually any social situation. The name of parasite, the cause of this painful disease... Rebecca Black.

Weep.




Yes, I truly believe that this love child of Ke$ha and a primary school teaching assistant (she makes learning fun!) is the devil incarnate.

There are many twisted things about the 13-YEAR-OLD girl and her lovely song, firstly: everything about the song entirely. These are the most inane lyrics I've ever heard in a song and I've listened to the Hello Kitty Suicide Club! She somehow makes the word fun sound like the least fun thing in the world. Like - "Hey kids, lets go beat up panda's at the zoo! Fun, fun, fun, fun, looking forward to the weekend."

And of course the greatest debacle ever to hit the world since 9/11. It's worse than Sophie's Choice and feline aids combined - What seat will Rebecca Black sit in on her way to school? Once you get past that her friends look like 12-year old Bieber tribute band rejects and fan girls, and the fact that these children should DEFINITELY not be driving, the answer is quite simple. The one free seat. You moron.

Just when you think it can't get any worse (after the chorus of "Partying! Yeah!") out comes the obligatory rapper. Of course he must work in the context of the song so he has absolutely nothing to say.  You might expect a blazing social commentary like many other famous rappers? Get ready for disappointment. It's cringeworthy.

I'm not even going to comment on her day-of-the-week run through. It actually hurts.

Okay, here's the deal. This thing has well over 100,000,000 hits which is fucking mental. So everyone's heard it and it is our current cultural mocking point. The song is everywhere, this thing is insanely catchy. At school today I was belting out lyrics uncontrollably, as was everyone else. I'm not kidding, this girl has achieved power over us all and we should bow down to her and obey her wishes before she brings out another repulsive catchy "pop sensation." Cause, believe me, she could have single-handedly taken down Palpatine's Empire.



Before you say anything else, I know I'm being a hypocrite. Mocking teenagers singers was exactly what I told you not to do. But c'mon, she's evil. ALL HAIL BLACK!

Tara x